PensHead.com

I’m a firm believer in some tough love, when the situation is right.  For example, Pascal tends to react favorably performance wise when usbzoso verbally berates him by roaring “PASCAL, YOU SUCK” as he misses the net by 15 feet… for the third time in a game.

Now, we all know our very favorite Russian, Zhenya Malkin, has just not been himself recently.  I could sit here and speculate for the next 3 hours why that is, but I’ll leave it up to you to pick your favorite excuse.  It could be anything from a lack of health or lack of confidence to a lack of Mama Malkin’s borscht or lack of satisfying blowjobs from Oksana.  Whichever it is, it needs to be rectified…and soon.

Now, screaming “EVGENI, YOU SUCK!” is just not going to work with Malkin.  First of all, he probably wouldn’t understand you anyway.  Secondly, Geno is just the type of guy that needs understanding support, and reacts better to some old-fashioned unconditional love.  So, in an effort to gently kick Geno into high gear, I offer up this reminder:

First Russian on the Conn Smythe, WOW!

Also, as a quick aside, Geno is virtually ensured to snap out of this funk Wednesday night, and have a HUGE game, in honor of usbzoso, since it’s his birthday!  That puck hitting the back of the twine for the first time in 10 games will be Geno’s С Днем Рождения to him!

Tags: Conn Smythe, Evgeni Malkin, MouthFullOfTang, Oksana Kondakova, Pascal Dupuis

This entry was posted by MouthFullOfTang on Tuesday, January 12th, 2010 at 5:05 am and is filed under Pittsburgh Penguins. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.